When was the last time you wrote a Love letter? You know, the kind of letter you write to someone when your heart is expanding and all your feel good juices are flowing, and you have goose bumps and your fingers are tingling and you feel that ‘Oh my God!’
Now, can you write yourself a love letter at that same level of excitement ?
This is the advice I gave to one of my clients who was struggling to welcome a new love in her life. Suzie – that’s not her real name of course – felt that no guy could love her until she lost 20 kilograms, got a career, and bought herself some new clothes. She said to me, “Gabriel, I’m so messed up, I couldn’t possibly be ready for love. Maybe after a few more years of working on myself.”
Reluctantly she decided to take my advice. The next time we met she showed up with a blank piece of paper. ”I can’t do this. There’s nothing I like about myself!”, she said. “Every time I look at myself in the mirror all I see is what I don’t like. I see all my flaws, and I don’t even look at the parts of my body I can’t stand!”
I then suggested she give herself permission to just stand in front of the mirror, and allow all those thoughts she had about herself to be just that: thoughts and opinions. Then I said to her, “After your highly opinionated and critical mind has its say, simply look deeply into your eyes and say to yourself “Thank you for sharing. I am an infinite being.”
The next time we saw each other this is what she shared: “I looked deeply into my eyes for a long time, and after all the chatter was exhausted, I started smiling and connecting with a deeper sense of love and appreciation for myself. I saw myself as other people might see me, and I started feeling warm in my heart, and then little by little, I started to say a few compliments to myself. Then I took a long bubble bath, taking the time to thank each part of my body for all they do each day of my life. By the time I got in bed, I finally wrote myself the Love letter, and I cried like I hadn’t in a long time. I had no idea I could feel so much love for myself!”
Here’s some tips on how to write the most important Love letter you’ll ever write in your life:
Sit down for 20 minutes in a quiet space where you know you won’t be disturbed. In a blank piece of paper write yourself a love letter. Inside the love letter, be sure to include the phrases:
What I love most about you…
What I value about you…
What I admire you for…
Thank you for being…
This little exercise, however silly it may seem, will bring greater healing and love into your life. It has worked for me and many of my clients. And, I’m so happy to report that the last time I saw Suzie she told me she had met a special man that she’s now dating.
Give it a try. Who knows, it might be the most important letter you’ll ever write! :)
"Plenty of Capetonians are getting their Hearts On Fire through Gabriel's workshops"