Introduction to How to Manifest Love
In this article, I will share with you a step-by-step process I put together for myself several years ago when I made the decision to open my heart and welcome love into my life. In my opinion, these steps make up what I believe is the most comprehensive, practical, spiritually based ‘how to’ advice on how to Manifest Love using the Law of Attraction and the Intelligence of your Heart.
If you follow these 7 steps with patience and do the inner and the outer work, you will literally become a love magnet, and be guided into the arms of your Soulmate, Beloved, or Special One.
As the Sufi poet Rumi once said, in the journey towards opening your heart to Love, “your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
Are you ready to get started? Let’s dive in!
What is a Soulmate?
So exactly, what is a soulmate? And how many soulmates do we have? I’ve spent years researching this topic, and have even tried to arrive at a definition of what a soulmate is, but the truth is that no one really knows for sure.
Whether we have one, two, three, of 7 billion soulmates, it truly depends on the opinion of the person you ask. After all, the word ‘Soul Mate’ means exactly that – a mate of the soul, or someone with whom you have a connection that transcends the purely human or biological level.
The only people who can accurately define what a soulmate is, are those people who have found their One. And what all these people have in common is the conviction that the person they’re with, for whatever reason, is the one that they are meant to be with.
I believe that Soul mates are people who share some sort of destiny together, and have a deep spiritual connection with each other.
I also believe that out of nearly 7 billion people on this planet at this particular point and time in history, there is one person alive, living reasonably close to you – or planning to move there soon – who is the best possible match for you. In other words, out of all the people who exist, there’s one person who is exactly who you’ve been waiting for, and to that person, you are exactly what he/she has waited for, too.
And when the two of you finally come together, it will be unlike any relationship that you have ever experienced before as Richard Bach described it below…
A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.”
~ Richard Bach
Manifesting Your Soulmate using the Law of Attraction
Step 1: Make a Commitment
I believe that in life, we don’t get what we want or what we need. We get what we commit to. To me, the word Commitment means ‘becoming one with, in our minds’. It has nothing to do with other people, but it has everything to do with embodying an idea, a quality, so that you live from it, each and every moment.
Now, suppose that you begin to get clear about the kind of person that your soulmate is. And you decide he or she is Abundant, Affectionate, Ambitious, Beautiful, Caring, Charismatic, Considerate, Creative, and so forth. Now, imagine that this person – who possess all of these wonderful qualities – was simultaneously looking back at you and secretly seeing you the way that you are right now, do you think that they would be proud of what they were seeing? Would they be interested in hanging out with you, in dating you? Chances are, the answer is no.
So what does that tell you? Well, when I asked myself the same question years ago before I started doing this work, what I realized was that in order for me to attract and manifest my Soulmate, I must somehow develop and grow myself into the kind of person that I myself want to be with. In other words, if you haven’t found the right person it’s probably because you are not being the right person! As Marianne Williamson says, “We must become the person we want to attract.”
The Process of Manifesting Your Soulmate is, for the most part, an Inner Journey. It is the process of committing ourselves to becoming the kind of person we want to attract.
When you commit to manifesting your soulmate you’re saying, in essence, that you’re ready for the next stage of your unfoldment, your evolution. That you are willing to go and discover the best gifts that are emerging from within you and to do the same with somebody else, while you support them along their journey.
The journey of welcoming your Soulmate is a journey towards your authentic nature. It’s not a journey of finding somebody who is going to love you, make you happy, or give you something that you don’t already have, but rather it is a journey of growing yourself and your own capacity to love yourself first before you can love others or welcome and recognize their love. It is about becoming more yourself, doing all the necessary clearing out, and embracing all the darker, subtle, shadow aspects of yourself that you’ve been unwilling to look at.
It is a journey of ‘working on yourself’ so that you can arrive at a place of deeper intimacy as you open your heart, and share your unique gifts with your One. It is, in essence, a journey of transformation and growth where you become One – in consciousness – with the Love that you want to attract. Along this journey, you will find a new loving relationship with the person that you are becoming.
So, let’s make that commitment right now and plant the seed for this new relationship to manifest in your life! Simply put one hand in your heart, and repeat after me:
I, ________(say your name), fully commit to welcoming my Soulmate into my life and growing myself into the kind of person I that want to attract.”
Step 2: Create a Clear Vision
So who is your Soulmate? What does he or she look like? What are their qualities? What is it that makes them unique and attractive to you? For many of us, this journey towards our Soulmate begins by first experiencing what we do not want. Funny how life works, isn’t it? If you have been, or currently find yourself, in a relationship where you find that things are not flowing, it feels like it’s too much work, you argue and fight a lot, you don’t feel like you are compatible or complement each other, the passion is long gone, you constantly feel anxious about the relationship and you’re struggling to be happy, instead of feeling stronger, supported and inspired you feel weakened, or the person is in another relationship and not available to you, chances are that you’re not with your soulmate.
The key is having clarity, and knowing what it is that you want. Why? So that you can identify it when you see it, feel it and hear it, and – most importantly – so that you won’t be sidetracked into a relationship with a person who is not the highest possibility for you. A person who is not your soulmate. Remember, there’s no need to settle for less than what you want. It’s like going to a supermarket without a grocery list when you’re feeling very hungry. If you’re anything like me, you may have bought a whole bunch of stuff you did not need but may have forgotten to buy something as basic as milk and sugar, which you really needed.
This type of thing happens because we showed up, desperate, and without clarity about what we really wanted. The same applies to manifesting your Soulmate. You already know what you DON’T want. So let’s put the main focus on putting together a list of what you DO WANT that is in alignment with your core values and expresses what you want to experience and share in your new relationship.
To get started, I’ recommend that you write down three lists that will help you gain the clarity you’ll need to manifest your One.
1) The Soulmate List. The first list is a list of ‘Green Light’ qualities and attributes that you’d like your soulmate to have. In other words, this is what you want to “get” in a Soulmate. In this list, you’ll describe all of the physical and non-physical characteristics you envision your soulmate to have. Here you want to include things that will begin to describe the kind of man or woman who would really make your heart sing.
Be sure to start this list by stating whether if your Soulmate is single, straight/gay (yes, you must be that specific) and available for a healthy, loving, committed, long-term relationship (or marriage if that is what you want.) Also, be sure to include that he or she lives close enough to you, and/or is willing to relocate if necessary for the two of you to be together. It is very important that you do not get too attached to this list, but rather release it by saying to yourself, “I welcome this, or something better!”
2) The Second List: Deal Breakers. It’s now time get clear about what I call the ‘Deal Breakers’. These are the ‘red lights’ that you want to watch out for when you start meeting people. This is a smaller list where you identify at least three qualities that if this person were to exhibit, you would not engage in a relationship with them. In other words, the deal would be off.
Deal-breaker items could include: if the person has some form of alcohol or substance addiction or abuse, if they are married or in another relationship, if they are physically or verbally abusive, and even if they smoke. For some people, smoking is not a big deal, but for me, I just can’t stand kissing someone after they’ve had a smoke, so I decided to include it in my deal-breaker list. What are your deal- breakers? All you need is three.
3) The Third List: Your Gifts. The third list is, in my opinion, the most important one. Your soul mate will not be coming into your life to rescue you, make you happy, or save your life. A soul mate is a friend and partner with whom you’ll be sharing your life. Someone who will love, nurture and support you while you love, nurture and support them. Someone who understands the power and beauty of a true soulmate union and will hold the space for love, even when you can’t.
This list is about you. It’s about what you are bringing to the relationship. Here you want to list the unique gifts that you will be sharing with your soulmate who, in turn, will nurture and support them.
Step 3: Send out a Soulmate Call
One of the best ways to invite love into your life is by sending out a Soulmate Call. A Soulmate Call is a powerful process that you can use to establish a soul-to-soul connection with your soulmate before you even meet. My free Manifest Soulmate Love audio program contains a guided meditation where I take you through this experience.
How does a Soul Call work? Well, remember that everything in the Universe is first created on the inner plane of ideas and emotions before it materializes. There’s plenty of scientific research that has proven that people who are thousands of miles away can actually affect each other’s heartbeat and capacity to experience love simply by thinking loving thoughts about each other.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere, they’re in each other all along”
By connecting with your soulmate on the inner plane first, you will be drawing him or her towards you and ultimately propelling him or her into your arms! In order to send out a Soul Call you can follow these steps:
1) Set an Intention. Write it down or say it out loud. You can say something like: “I now open my heart to my soulmate, and I welcome love in.” This step alone can have a profound effect.
2) Open Your Mind. Really believe that he or she is out there and that nothing can keep the two of you apart. Here you can say affirmations such as:
- My Perfect Partner is on his/her way to me, or
- Nothing can keep my soulmate away from me.
3) Open your Heart. Visualize and feel what it would look like, feel like to be with him or her. You probably already know more about your soulmate than you realize as you came to this life with certain tastes and preferences that are likely to correspond with those of your soulmate. Let your imagination fly while you really feel him or her!
Step 4: Clear the Decks
As I mentioned earlier, the process of spiritual growth and development is one of releasing and letting go of old ways of being and embracing the new aspects of ourselves that are wanting to emerge. And welcoming your Soulmate into your life, as an expression of this growth, requires that you now begin by clearing the decks. This means beginning to remove all of the obstacles that are stopping, hindering, delaying or even distracting you from having the relationship that you truly want to have. How? By Healing your heart, De-Cluttering your Mind, Releasing the past and Making Room for Love.
1) Healing Your Heart. To be human is to risk being wounded. Whether we experienced a difficult childhood or were rejected, or abused by a previous lover, the fact is that deep down at the level of the heart, we all have emotional wounds that need healing.
The preparation for welcoming your soul mate requires that you make a conscious commitment to start healing the deepest wounds of your heart. Notice that I said “start” healing the deepest wounds of your heart, because for the majority of us, this is a lifelong process and it doesn’t mean you have to be fully healed to manifest your One. In fact, one of the things that a soul mate will do is HELP you to heal your deepest emotional wounds, and chances are you’ll be helping them heal their deepest emotional wounds as well. BUT you must be willing to clear out all of the past hurts, anger, resentments, and anything else that makes up the thick wall of protection and distrust that you have built around your heart so that you can start welcoming love in.
So, your responsibility, starting today, is to gently uncover the wounds of your heart and begin the healing process so that you can send out a clear signal to the Universe that you have started to heal, and that you are now ready for love. And you can start doing that right now, through the power of forgiveness.
2) De-Cluttering your Mind. De-Cluttering your Mind means exactly that. It means letting go or releasing any fears or beliefs you have about love that are keeping love away from you. For example, many people believe they have some kind of fatal flaw or secret that may repulse others. For women, it normally is something physical, and for men, it is normally something in their financial situation or career. These insecurities will lead you to have thoughts such as:
- I won’t meet my soulmate until I’m financially stable
- If I could lose 20 lbs, I would be ready for love
- No one will love a man with no hair
- There are no available men over 30
- All men are jerks
- All good men are taken, or they are gay
- No one will love a single parent
Remember, you are ‘IT’ for your Soulmate. If you find yourself feeling competitive, or in a situation where someone else got the person you really liked, simply bless that person silently and continue to be confident that your One will not see past you, and that you get love no matter what!
3) Releasing the Past. Is there someone you’re still in love with? Are there any past relationships in your life that are still unresolved? Almost every person that comes to see me with hopes of finding love is holding onto a past love or relationship, either consciously or unconsciously. I call this person the passenger in their car.
The analogy is simple: if you’re carrying a passenger in your car, there won’t be room for your Soulmate to sit in it! So, if you’re still in love with this person, but you know that they are not your soul mate and/or there is no possibility of a true, loving, committed relationship with them, it’s time to let them go. This does not mean you have to stop loving them. It simply means that you have to find a new space in your heart for them, a special chamber where you will put all the people whom you have loved in the past.
4) Making Room for Love. I want you to be honest and answer this question: As your life is today, do you have the time and energy for a deep, loving, healthy relationship? Do you have room in your life for your Soulmate? Perhaps, since you’ve been single you’ve been working late hours, and have very little free time to go out on dates. Or perhaps you’ve been accumulating a few “friends with benefits” who are keeping you sexually satisfied. Or perhaps you’re so focused on helping others that you leave no room for yourself.
If you were to meet your soulmate today, and you chose to live together, would there be room in your life for them? Okay, think you know what I’m getting at? If you don’t start making actual time and space to be with your soulmate, you’re sending out a clear message to the Universe that you’re not ready to welcome him or her into your life. If what you truly want is to welcome your One into your life, and you are fully committed, then one of the best ways that you can accelerate this process is by consciously making room for them.
Step 5: Start Telling a New Story
Imagine for a moment that it’s a beautiful winter morning and there’s fresh, pristine snow on the ground. You walk up to a hill with your sled, and slide down and take your first trip down to the bottom of the hill. This first time, your course was pretty random, right? Then, you walk back up to the top of the hill once more and you sled down again. Okay, the odds are that you’re going to hit at least some of the grooves you created the first time that you went down.
So you do it again and again and again and by the end of the morning, you’re likely to have carved a pretty strong little track, ensuring that you head down the same path and wind up at the same place every time. Does that make sense? Exactly the same thing happens with our thoughts and our brains. In science, this is called ‘Neuro-plasticity”.
We have spent years and years thinking the same thoughts over and over again, based on past circumstances and experiences – and most of them are not even our thoughts! And we have grooved these thoughts so strongly, that when something happens in our life, these thoughts automatically get triggered and then our old patterns play themselves out.
Just like the good old tracks that the sled follows down the mountain. And so we tell the same old story, over and over, about why we have our childhood wounds, and about how bad our previous relationship was, how we got dumped, how we’re not being loved the way we want to be, how unequal this relationship is, how we have these abandonment issues, how they cheated on us, how we’re too old to find love, too fat, too skinny, too white, too black, too gay, too straight, too poor, too rich, too unstable, too unreliable, afraid of commitment, too demanding… Blah, blah, blah. PLEASE STOP! The more you tell the same old story, the more you’re perpetuating it in your experience and the more you’re blocking love from coming into your life. Why? Because you keep focusing on it.
Remember, we live in a universe where everything is created twice, first in the non-physical, then in the physical. The more you focus on telling the old story, the more you’ll be attracting circumstances and experiences that will sustain and perpetuate your old story. So what is the solution?
You’ve got to put a roadblock on the sled path. Stop telling the OLD story and start telling the NEW story! The NEW story of how you want it to be. The story of what it’s like to be in the most magical, loving relationship with your Soulmate. Starting now. You’re going to start catching yourself when you’re chatting with friends and the OLD story starts to creep out. Notice it. Then shift to the NEW story.
Step 6: Gather Your Dream Team
Life can be very challenging for most of us. You’re going to have good days, and you’re going to have not so good days. In fact, many things are going to be out of your control and it’s great to recognize that you’re not always going to be on the top of your game. Therefore, you need to have some sort of support system in your life so that you can show up fully, especially once you meet your Soulmate. Why? Because bringing all of life’s challenges into one relationship, especially with your romantic partner, will place a very heavy burden on your relationship, not to mention draining the sexual and creative energy from it. You cannot have that! You need to enlist the support of others and create your own group of amazing, challenging, and supportive friends.
Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you.”
~ Robin Sharma
If you’re serious about growing yourself into becoming the kind of person that you want to attract, then I recommend that you cultivate a network of therapists, counselors, coaches, healing professionals, trusted friends and mentors whom you can count on for any variety of challenge that will arise. Especially when the big stuff starts coming up, and it will!
As I mentioned earlier, our soulmates frequently come into our lives to help us heal our deepest emotional wounds, and we come into their lives to help them do the same. For some people, this may at first look like some form of ‘Crazy, Stupid Love’, or a relationship that appears to bring out the worst both in you and your partner. These are the kind of relationships where people break up several times but over time have a tendency to find their balance as deep healing begins to take place and eventually grow into ‘Soulmate Love’.
You want to ensure you have the members of this support team just a phone call or email away for when you need that extra support. This group is pivotal in your ability to really show up fully in your life and journey towards your soulmate, as it will challenge you to step up to the plate, release any old emotions that are stored in your mind and body, hold you accountable to your commitment, and demand clarity while it offers gentle support when you most need it.
Be sure to include in this group only positive, trustworthy people with whom you can share this journey, and who can hold your vision with you. And, be sure to exclude any friends or family members who are skeptical, negative, sarcastic and who can actually bring you down. That’s the last thing you need!
If you feel that you’d like my support, consider requesting a complimentary conversation with me so that I can help you decide what is the best program for you.
Step 7: Get Ready for Your Soulmate!
Because you’ve now set a firm intention to manifest your soulmate, and you’re now on your way to welcoming him or her into your heart, it is very important that you continue to trust this process and always remember that nothing, absolutely nothing can keep your soulmate away from you.
At this stage, the principle of ‘Divine and Perfect Timing’ will put you and your Soulmate together at the right place and at the right time for you to meet. Your job from this point forward is to continue to hold the intention of the ‘what’, while you let God or the Universe figure out the ‘when’ or the ‘how’. Why? Because we cannot control the time and place when this will happen, but we certainly can control our ability to feel good, be optimistic, open to love and continue to do the necessary inner work that will magnetize our soulmate to us.
This means that you may have to wait, while the Universe engineers the perfect and ideal timing for the two of you to come together, and learn to be patient while you deepen your faith, and your ability to give and receive love. If you and your soulmate have not met yet it is very likely that one of you have unfinished business or might be completing a relationship cycle with another person.
It could also mean that a particular area of your life might need your attention, such as your career, finances, health, raising children, or that simply, your time is just not ripe for love yet. Whatever the timing might be, what I know for sure is that the time you invest in getting ready for your soulmate is an opportunity to continue to work on yourself, and remove all of the mental and emotional blocks that are keeping you from love. It is the perfect time to get to know yourself fully and deeply and get ready for love.
And, how can you then get ready for love? Here are a few suggestions:
1) Continue to send out a Soul Call and hold your intention to welcome your Soulmate into your heart. Connect with your Soulmate at the inner level by visualizing and feeling him/her as if he or she is already in your life. You can do this by buying them a card, or setting a place for them at your dinner table. You can also buy a soulmate ring, as a symbol of you holding a special place in your heart for your One. You may also want to listen to my ‘Soul Call’ guided meditation, especially when you’re feeling disconnected or negative about your love life.
2) Open to the mystery of life. You have no idea when or where that special person could walk into your life. He or she could be someone you already know or met in the past. They could be someone you’ll be meeting on your next business trip or vacation. They could also be your next date’s brother or sister! Your next Facebook friend or Twitter follower. They could be someone you’ll be meeting at a coffee shop or at the train station while you wait for the next train. The key here is to surrender all pre-conceived ideas and drop all your expectations of how, and with whom it is to happen and continue to focus on ‘what’ you want by being fully available and present in each and every moment. Don’t worry about the how! Say ‘Yes’ to your soulmate, and open to the mystery of life!
3) Follow your heart. If there’s something you feel inspired to do, do it. If there’s something you don’t want to do, don’t do it. You don’t have to kiss 100 frogs; you don’t have to go out to meet people, go on online dating sites, or do anything that does not feel right. If you are the kind of person who likes to stay at home, your soulmate could literally have a crash on your yard! It’s happened before. Only do what you want to do and feels right!
You don’t have to go out on dates with people you’re not interested in, nor try to do something that goes against your own values. Notice what things or people you are consciously or unconsciously drawn to. You might be lead into amazing, rewarding, or at the very least a growing experience! Be willing to trust that inner voice and be open to the mystery that comes from there.
4) Shine your unique light. Be willing to, more than ever, be yourself with every person that you meet, and in every situation – no matter how casual the encounter might seem. As Andy Warhol used to say, “Be yourself because everyone else is already taken.” The more you are yourself, the faster your soulmate will recognize you. Remember: they are also looking for someone unique just like you, so when you stop being your true self, you’re also stopping them from recognizing you!
5) Start each day by turning your Heart Light on. How can you do this? With a gratitude prayer for all that is happening in your life and for the deep knowing that your Soulmate is even now on his/her way to you. Affirm that you are meeting in Divine and Perfect time, and know that while you wait patiently for their arrival in your life, both you and your Soulmate are growing, and wrapping up any unfinished business while the Universe engineers your connection.
6) Use this time to grow in your ability to be more patient, more loving, more giving, more forgiving and more gentle and kind to yourself. Get your ducks in a row, explore new hobbies and interests and keep on growing your current friendships. Continue to work on all your mental and emotional blocks to love and, most importantly, continue to have faith that he or she is out there and that you can’t miss each other.
7) Enjoy the time that you’re single. One day you’ll look back upon these days and you’ll cherish them. Live it up! Enjoy sleeping alone, the pleasure of doing what you want and when you want it, of spending your money on yourself and, most importantly, being grateful for where you are RIGHT now on your journey.
This is the time to pamper yourself, to prove how valuable you are and to take the time to do something special for yourself. Maybe you have always wanted to stay at a beachfront hotel, get a massage or a pedicure, learn a new language, rent a particular movie, or have a gourmet dinner served in your home. No matter how big or small, the time to fulfill your desires is now.
8) Let go of all maps. Hold onto the information in this article very tightly, and re-read it when you need to, but remember that this is just a map, but not the territory. Be willing to release all of this information I’m sharing here with you, and only come back to it only when you’re feeling lost, and need to find your way again.
9) Finally, learn to fall in love with yourself fully. The more you learn to fully love and accept yourself, the more you’ll learn to recognize other peoples’ love, too. Begin by loving yourself and accepting yourself just the way you are, with all your quirks and idiosyncrasies (and we all have them). Work on accepting your weaknesses, your strengths, your limitations, your guilt and insecurities as part of your make-up.
You can be happy now, and by doing this work, you are re-creating your world and embracing your capacity to Love. You are growing yourself into a new you. You are becoming the kind of person you’ll eventually attract into your life. You’re becoming more and more your True Self! Once you align with your True Self and take inspired action from that place, the possibilities are infinite!
It’s time to fly into your Soulmate’s arms and to embrace the life you were meant to live!
I bless your journey towards your Beloved and know you are deeply connected at the soul level even now, and that you get love no matter what.